Home
by graydama
Summary: The most safest place can hurt you the most.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing**

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Relena didn't greet Heero when he strode into their room and immediately began to pack his things.

"I won't be long."

"I know." Her voice barely rose above a whisper. Their son, Odin, who was just old enough to crawl, was swaddled in one arm. While her other arm was wrapped around her eldest, Helena, as they all sat on her bed.

She wondered if their daughter knew what was going on, or if she would remember the events leading up to this drastic decision. In the end Heero had been right, and she was glad to see that he didn't rub it in when she agreed to leave. Temporarily at least. Relena didn't like what their decision might insinuate, or how the media would twist the situation to make it appear that she was running. Worst of all that her opposition would see it as an opportune time to move in and fray at her work.

But she shoved that away now, and she did so with no regret. Their daughter and son were here, safe, and thanks only to the goodness of her staff and strangers. Even one of the perpetrators. All she cared for right now, was her family. Her mother had always told her since she became the Foreign Minister that she needed to make time for herself, well before she had a family of her own. Well after everything she had done for the world, and everything that had been done to her, she deserved this small reprieve. Without concern if the world falls apart for a few days or weeks while she was away.

"Let's go." Heero had rounded the corner of the bed and reached his hand out to her. She took it and he helped her up while taking Helena in his arms. Relena had already done her rounds of the house. She didn't need to do it twice. Pictures were still framed on the walls, and plants still lazed on the corners. Now she caught the glimpses of everything they had brought together in their home, and left it without a second glance.

Her assistant would be moving in temporarily while she and Heero left for another house they had leased under assumed names, across the Atlantic and far from Brussels. Howerever there was a pang in her heart when she settled herself in the back seat with her children while he drove them to the private airport. She still didn't glance back at their house, she wanted the memory of it to remain good, but wouldn't lie it had become a place that held a deep cut now. Nonetheless it had been the first home that her children had resided in. Where she and Heero had lived in well before their births.

Perhaps one day they could go back but now, they needed distance and space. North America would be far enough for now. Neither Heero or her spoke the whole car ride. Ambient music played on the background and she guessed either Heero or her had forgotten to take out the CD, they had come to find that on the nights Odin couldn't sleep walking or driving around helped. It was an odd and dated she'd heard, but she welcomed anything at the time to help her son sleep. It was also a good excuse for her to learn how to drive while there weren't so many people on the road.

Those nights weren't so different from this one. Pagan and he mother would watch over Helena, while Heero, Odin, and herself would drive around the amber lit roads until Odin's small chest rose and fell in blissful slumber. Even now he had fallen asleep before they were half way there, but Helena remained awake and alert. Relena tried to keep her features in check when her large eyes looked up to hers.

When she was returned to them Relena had immediately embraced her, held onto her for so long. A doctor, and then Helena's personal pediatrician, had checked her and she had been fine. They even said that it was possible she had been asleep through the whole ordeal. Yet there was always a chance, Relena thought, that Helena could've seen something terrible.

There had been blood on her clothes after all.

"Relena."

She looked to the review mirror to meet Heero's gaze.

"It's okay."

She began to blink rapidly, looking up to the roof of the car, and finally to the side of her window, just in case Helena was still staring at her. "I know. It's just," her head bent and she took a shallow breath and pressed her fingers in her eyes. "Not in front of them. I don't want to upset her."

He didn't say anything, but he reached back to her with his right hand. She took it and felt his calloused fingers wrap around hers. She could feel the sprinkle of tears sit at the edge of eyes, his hold, the flesh around his bones, steadied her. It always had. He always called her strong, stronger than him even, but she was happy when he acknowledged that she could break too.

He didn't let go of her hand until they had reached their destination. Although she was sure it must have been an awkward position as he did stretch his hand once they were inside and checking in their luggage. She chuckled at the sight, even though this wasn't the best of circumstances. He in return gave her a soft look, and he brushed her eyes gently with his thumb. His look almost brought her to tears again but her kissed her forehead and she breathed a sigh of relief. His expression was everything reflected in her own heart.

Grateful that they were together again, determination to protect them no matter the cost, and fear of what could have been. She took him by the hand again until they reached the gate and were seated. This wasn't their jet, she had called a favor and Dorothy had been more than happy to oblige. Only Dorothy and a few handful of people who would know where they would be. This would be Odin's first flight and surprisingly he did not wake once they began to take off. Helena on the other hand had been drifting off but became alert once more when she looked out the window.

Relena also looked out and how every second brought them farther into the sky. If their flight had been during the day Helena would've been able to see the clouds, instead she saw the many lights of the city in the distance. She had no idea what was on her mind, but when Helena could no longer see the lights she had turned over on Heero's lap and curled up and began to nod off again. Relena was relieved when her breathing slowed and she was truly asleep.

"She must be so tired." Relena brushed their daugther's dark brown curls. The first day she had been returned to them she had been wide awake and by night she slept but woke more easily. The second night she found that she had slept sparingly during the night, and the only reason she had found out is because she couldn't sleep well either. Heero too had found Helena awake by the third day, then they knew something wasn't right.

"Whatever they gave her is wearing off. I checked her blood myself, it's healthy."

She nodded, then rested her head on his shoulder. She trusted the doctors fine, and in the past that line would've made her believe Heero was being overly protective again. Now she was just grateful that he could confirm their daughter's health and ease her anxiety. He rested his head on top of hers and she could feel her exhaustion catching up with her now, the three nights she stayed awake. Waiting to hear about Helena, where she was, whether she was alive or dead. Having her hand touch her hair, and the warmth of their son, felt like a dream she didn't want to wake from. She desperately wanted to stay awake until they reached land again just to make sure they wouldn't disappear and find that this was a dream. So many things could go wrong, and your imagination only became worse when you had so many people to care about.

"Relena you can rest. I'll stay awake, we can take turns."

She let out a short breath and smiled. The way he could read her, it could be annoying when she wanted to surprise him, but the majority of times, like now, it was always a relief.

Relena tilted her head up and kissed his cheek, then rested her head on his shoulder again. "Okay."

She was afraid for her children, but with all them together right now, she knew they could face the future. They would start again with tomorrow. That was the thought she held onto when she finally drifted off to sleep.

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**A/N:** Hello everyone here's another story I hope you'll enjoy! Also I hope everyone's New Years went well and that this year brings plenty of great opportunities! I actually needed to finish editing 2 finished works I have been working on since last year but this one just came out and struck like lightening and I needed to get it posted! I wanted to do something for Valentine's Day but this came out instead. Lolololol I plan to make this fic short, although I'm not sure how short it will be I will try to post it weekly. It was actually based off another fic I had started doing randomly but never concluded. This was also a sort of congratulations to Relena for President for her move to a new home! Congrats dear! Well I hope to have the other 2 works edited soon to have them ready for April and they're both long, unintentionally but I'm happy about it! And sorry if there's a lot of typos or mistakes! I wanted to post this as soon as I could and re-read quickly.

Have a great day everyone!


	2. Chapter 2

Relena was covered in sweat, head throbbing, and leaning against the toilet. Her intestines protested every breath she took and she prayed that her stomach would settle. Of course her desires were set aside as another bought of nausea racked her body. She was alone with the children, and since they had arrived in this house she stuck to their side, but she couldn't bring herself to stand. When she finally stopped expelling whatever had made her sick she took a tentative step on the cool tiles toward the sink. The cold water spread goosebumps all over her skin, but at least the nausea had lessened.

She rested her right hand on the door frame and looked into the barely lit room. Relena had parted the curtains about an inch to let enough light into the room for her to see, and there on the bed, her children were taking an afternoon nap. Her other hand was on her stomach while she made it to the bed and sat and took careful even breaths. When Heero got back she would be sure to take a shower. What had she eaten?

They had been here a week, perhaps her system was finally catching up with her and trying to get used to the food here. No, she concluded. Heero had eaten the same thing and hadn't gotten sick. Despite his immune system the food had been cooked by both of them. Pregnancy was out of the question as she had been regular for the last 5 months, finally getting a routine again after Odin's birth.

Perhaps it wasn't food poisoning, but a stomach bug, or brought upon from stress. Conditions that keep ones emotions on high alert, especially survival ones, can always cause the body to react negatively in the long run. A crash. Maybe this was hers. After all she went from having her children stolen from her, to panic of not knowing where they were, 3 hours for Odin, and almost 3 days for Helena. The only reason they had found Odin much sooner was because Pagan had hidden him, at the expense of taking serious injuries to himself.

A pang of guilt mixed with nausea hit her. She had left him, and her mother. Before they left that was her only hesitation. She had not left her house on that week of hell unless it was to visit Pagan, which she did every day. When her children were back Heero had advised that they should consider leaving to give them all a moment of reprieve. But she constantly repeated to him that Pagan was hurt and she couldn't abandon him when he had protected their children.

It took the words of her mother to be able to make the final decision to leave.

_"He would want you to go." she had said._

_"How do you know?"_

_"Because," she had looked down to Pagan's resting face, an oxygen mask covered half of it. "He always wanted to keep you safe, and I would imagine he knows how hurt your are from all this. He would want you to have a moment to step back and reflect, instead of letting your trauma dictate your actions."_

Relena knew that sounded more like what her mother would want her to do. Yet on more than one occasion Pagan had snuck in moments in her busy schedule to give her trinkets her children had made or sweets she nibbled on when she thought no one was watching. He always asked if she would like to take some time off someday to enjoy the company of her friends and family more, and she had always agreed that she would want to, but that she couldn't at present because of her responsibilities, someday she would.

Tears began to warm the side of her eyes and she brushed them away. Relena glanced to her children, sound asleep as the sun played with their hair. She didn't regret her decision to leave at the time, her children had to come first. Once her mother had also agreed to stay by Pagan's side until she returned, she had been ready. She supposed that now in this quiet and her children asleep, her body couldn't keep up the strong stance much longer. She especially didn't want Heero to come in and think they had made the wrong decision.

She wanted to be here, but that didn't change that the circumstances didn't affect her. Then Relena heard Odin take a deep breath and roll to his side in his sleep, curling closer to his sister and his little hand outstretched. These two were so inseparable, her lips twitched to a small smile. Relena reached over and placed her index finger in his small palm and his fingers closed over it. So small and soft, she always had marveled at how small the lines of his hands were, just like she had done with Helena. She doubted any parent didn't get caught up on the size of their babies.

For a moment her nausea subsided, her guilt lost a shade or two. Odin's finger held firm and she could only think of wanting to be there for them. Protect them. And if she was lucky enough, see those hands engulf hers when he was older. She pressed a kiss on his hand and Helena's forehead. She would hold her guilt now, but her family had her heart always.

Relena took a deep breath and let her muscles relax. She needed to be present, for them, Heero, and herself. She wiggled her finger free from Odin's grip and tried to make as little noise as possible, going from the bed to freshen herself up in the bathroom, then to sit at the desk right next to them. Propping her laptop open and taking out her cell phone she started on the work she had laid aside, and she had plenty to catch up on. She avoided the news as much as possible and focused on responding to her other 2 assistants in the office. Delegating instructions after she had completed modifying documents for them to process and send off formally. She could very well send the documents electronically but that would invite conversation to the receiver and she wasn't ready yet. She had promised to put full on work aside for now, to focus on her family, and she intended to keep that promise.

She and Heero had agreed she could at least reach out to her subordinates to let them know what to do in her absence. It felt good. Catching up on the work she could do, while her children rested beside her, it was all she wanted for now. When Heero returned from grocery shopping she was just wrapping up a final email.

"They're still asleep?"

"Yes," she beamed. They were asleep before Heero left, which made it a whole hour and a half. "I want to let them sleep a little longer."

Heero dropped the bags on the table and strode to the bed, his eyes roaming their features. "They should be fine later." He reached and touched both their heads. Then he walked over to her and kissed her forehead.

"Are you alright?"

"Honestly, I wasn't earlier. I got a little sick. But," she continued before he uttered another word, a glint of concern had shown from his eyes . "I'm feeling better." she gave him genuine smile.

He stayed silent for a moment only running his thumb across her cheek, then he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever for?" Her eyes widened as she pulled her head back. None of the grief she felt earlier had been caused by Heero, nothing about their current circumstances was Heero's fault.

"You live fully by your emotions and will. Taking action and adjusting when you've made a mistake." he thumbed her cheek again. "And even enduring the emotions that harm you with strength. You're the strongest person I know. But when I see you struggle, and hurt inside, I'm sorry I can't do more to blunt the pain, even if you say my presence is enough, I always wish I could do more."

She kissed him then. He was still for a second, caught off guard, before he returned it earnestly. Her insides, that battled her earlier, warmed and unwound. She could feel her heart beat pick up and an electric surge under her skin swell from where his hands held her. When they parted he kept his hold on her.

"If you feel what I feel when we do that, than you're doing more than you can ever imagine for me." She gave him another quick peck before letting him go and walking over to her laptop to close it. When she turned around he was still looking at her with the same expression.

"We should start dinner." She suggested, before his gaze tried to lift her to outer space.

"We could do that later."

She knew that tone and look. The one that always ended up "distracting" them, longer than she intended. "We won't have time later when they wake up."

She wasn't feeling her prettiest either because of earlier. Nonetheless Relena did rue her words, because once she said them their children began to stir. They would have to save the yearning glances for later. They spend the next couple of hours preparing their meals and cleaning little mishaps. Having children so close together in age always guaranteed that when one mess was dealt with another was sure to take its place. She had just put another clean shirt on Helena when she glanced outside. The sun was setting and it colored the sky orange pink. They had stepped out of the house sparingly, cautious in case anyone would recognize them. Yet with the sky streaked with such warmth she couldn't resist.

"Heero?"

"Hm?" he came into the room holding Odin.

"Can we go outside together?"

He looked out the window, bouncing Odin in his arms. "Why not?" the side of his lip raised into a half smile.

So she pulled the little socks off Helena's feet and carried her passed the sliding doors, down to the boardwalk, to the beach. When they had decided to lease out a beach home she was reluctant at first, until Heero, practical and security driven Heero, had explained why. He was relying on the illogical decision to throw any would be assailants, paparazzi, off. No one would expect one of the most prominent and powerful political figures to lease out a beach house in Florida instead of residing in the city where anonymity and higher security could be counted on. It was a gated community as well so that helped.

What they were relying on now for security was Heero, and she felt safe enough with him. Every step they took down the beach she knew he was observing their surroundings. It did feel strange to be out in the open after a week, she didn't count the times she was out sitting or standing on the porch hearing the roar of the waves in the distance. It wasn't the sam. Relena placed Helena on the sand, and walked her to the edge of the water. Helena smiled and giggled and it filled her heart with drumming joy.

Heero was careful to kneel down with Odin to let his feet touch the water. Odin didn't appear to be as enamored by the sea but he did stare and kick at it. Perhaps when he was older he too would hop on it as Helena was doing at the moment. Relena sat down next to Heero and she let the water touch her feet as well.

With a content sigh she rested her head on his shoulder. "I'll need to give her bath after this."

"Yeah."

They sat in silence, the sun had settled on the horizon. They had done this before. She and Heero. When they had run off on a long weekend, urged by their friends and family, and he had taken her to the beach. She remembered the smell and white sand. And how he got her pregnant. She smiled and began to chuckle. Heero gave her a side long glance, a mischievous smirk he didn't try to hide. Relena pressed even closer to him.

That's how they were until the sun gave a final blink in the distance.

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**A/N**: I did it! So far so good on updates! Hope you guys liked this addition as well. I really wasn't expecting to pick Florida since I would've gone for somewhere in the north but it felt right to let them go to the beach! I really wanted to focus this chapter to let Relena have a moment to process emotions since just letting them up and go, even if she did take a moment to steel herself, doesn't mean she's completely recovered. Here's hoping the next chapter is just as interesting! Have a good day everyone!


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